Mary Stayed Out All Night, the story of the grumpy romance between a penniless college girl and her drunken underground rock star roommate. Yes. It's just as ridiculous it as it sounds. That's the charm of it! You think it can't get any more lolarious, and then the penniless college girl wakes up after getting hammered with her drunken underground rock star roommate, and somehow there are cabbages involved, and then Jang Geun Suk walks out of the shower with silky wet hair and a bubblegum fetish.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Like all great OTPs, it starts with the heroine running him over.
She hits him with her car...
Going two miles an hour...
THROUGH A CROWDED STREET.
And she still manages to knock him flat.
WELCOME TO MAE RI'S LIFE.
They lock eyes for the first time... TO A SUDDEN CHORUS OF ANGELIC CHOIR MUSIC. I AM NOT KIDDING. I COULD NOT MAKE THIS UP IF I TRIED. EVEN IF I SAT DOWN AND THOUGHT, "WHAT MUSIC COULD I CHOOSE FOR A ROMANTIC MEETING THAT WOULD MAKE IT TOTALLY FUCKING RANDOM?" I STILL WOULD NOT THINK OF CHOIR MUSIC.
For no reason, Moo Kyul licks the blood off his knuckle.
He's fine enough to get up and walk off, but Mae Ri has a terrible thought: what if he tries to claim damages later? She can't afford that, she's unemployed and living in an empty apartment with no furniture and no fridge. Oh my god! What if he's hurt? What if he sues her?
THE FACES IN THIS DRAMA. THE FACES!
Forget injuries and lawsuits, though. Her BFFs know what's important. "He's homeless and probably going to sue you, but at least he's a hot. He's a hot homeless guy. He's like a flower!"
(Still not making this up.)
The only surprising thing about this scene is that the crowd didn't part for JSG like a god.
Mae Ri follows him right into a club, where we get like five minutes of Jang Geun Suk's breathy emotive musical orgasm faces.
After literally watching him this entire time, Mae Ri's eyes widen as she realizes, "That's him! Homeless flower guy!"
She then starts to flail and shout to be heard over the crowd. "HEY! ARE YOU OKAY? EXCUSE ME! I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'RE OKAY!" fsdkl;jfsdlfjsdf HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THAT. IS THAT NOT SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
Mae Ri wants him to sign a liability waver. Moo Kyul wants her to drink with him first.
Mae Ri is like "fine! sure! no problem!" and takes the drink and tips it over.
Despite her sneaky, totally unobvious deception, Moo Kyul drawls "Don't cheat."
Mae Ri is like "shitshitshit" and downs the shots like she's swallowing poison. This gets the first real smile we've seen out of Moo Kyul, and flowers spontaneously bloom across Korea as small children are cured of cancer.
They stumble into the street, bickering, holding hands (!!!!), giving drunk-hugs. Moo Kyul incoherently sings a song about a bus. I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
He gives her a cabbage for no apparent reason. And she keeps it. In the morning, in her apartment, she will have a cabbage and not remember why.
Moo Kyul loves his cabbage.
ETA: I have just been informed this is a cabbage bouquet. This is what he's proud of, ladies and gentlemen. The romance of a hipster. Cabbages.
Moo Kyul suddenly notices something. It's a scar. Mae Ri tries to hide it, but he pushes her hands away and stares, and let me tell you, it's really hot and unexpectedly romantic. Because they're still drunk and funny-arguing ("it's like Harry Potter!") but now the scene is more intimate, with their voices all low and Moo Kyul's fingers resting in her hair and a;dlkaszfjsdklfjsdff.
AND THEN HE KISSES IT. Thunk, that's me dead on the floor. As far as I'm concerned the drama can go ahead and end now. He kisses her scar. GAME OVER, NO OTHER PAIRINGS POSSIBLE FROM THIS MOMENT FORWARD.
Kim Jae Wook, doomed secondary guy, head bitch in charge.
His rich corporate father has an unexplained connection to Mae Ri's deceased mother. Gee, I wonder where this plot is going?
Twenty bucks says:
1) KJW falls for her but eventually bows out of the race because they're secretly half-siblings
2) KJW falls for her, discovers the connection, thinks they're half-siblings and angsts about it, but really his father only had an unrequited crush and they aren't related at all. However, the damage is done, as Mae Ri can only think of him like a brother. Also she has JGS in her shower and needs nothing else in life.
Wait, I didn't post the shower caps, did I?
OH YES. OH YESSSSSSSSS. It's the morning after Mary Potter got kissed and Moo Kyul followed her home and slept on the floor.
Hey, she has a spare bedroom, right? And it just so happens he's a homeless flower needing a place to stay. Within twenty minutes they are A+ amazing roomies.
Fighting over the last pack of ramen!
Bickering! She actually gets on his case about why he doesn't have a job and why he sleeps so late. ONE EPISODE IN AND THEY'RE ALREADY MARRIED.